You Love Your Family, But.....
I came from a family of hard-working immigrants. My parents sacrificed a lot for me. Because of them I have so many opportunities to not just survive but thrive. However, I felt so guilty anytime I would enjoy my life “too much.”
I remember when my husband and I went to Hawaii. There was a woman that was cleaning the resort. She looked kind of like my mother and it triggered me to think of how hard my mom worked. She would wake up at 5 am every day and even work on the weekends. She loved to travel, and thankfully in her final years she did get to travel. She even went to Hawaii but I still felt so guilty.
My mom had just past away and from my eyes, her life looked hard. It looked like a struggle.
Somehow, I had this unconscious belief that if I too struggled I was being in solidarity with my mom, whom I loved very much. I know it doesn’t sound logical because as a parent myself, all we want is for our children to be happy.
Many of you are probably like me – highly sensitive and empathic. No matter what things looked like on the outside, you probably felt the voids of your caretakers.
I discovered shortly after my son was born that I became a “doctor” a “scientist” because it was my mom’s dream. She never pressured me to study anything but I “picked” up unfulfilled desire and made it my own.