Are You Hiding Parts of Yourself?
The other night I was meeting with a new creative writing group.
After the meeting a man came up to me and was really fascinated by my story. He was particularly intrigued by the fact that I was Indian, traveled
the world and not only looked Latina but spoke Spanish.
He gently confided in me that he’s never really felt like he fit in.
He’s an African American Documentary journalist and has traveled the world himself. He says that when he goes to Egypt they are convinced he is Egyptian and when he goes to Germany, they are convinced he is German. He then went on to tell me that his email name is one world traveler or something like that.
I could feel the camaraderie of being an international soul he was recognizing in me.
I told him that I am an intuitive life coach and that on soul level he knows that he has lived many life times in many parts of the world. The experiences he is having in this lifetime are affirming that.
The biggest smile cracked open on his face. I know that look.
It’s the look of someone that has been seen on soul level.
Have you ever experienced that?
It’s the best feeling in the world to be affirmed for something that you know internally about yourself that has not really been named or celebrated before, perhaps even put down.
His smile affirmed for me what I knew internally – I have an ability to see people and name their “insides.” This is my unique gift but I used to hide this part of me.
Especially in circles like this one. Everybody at the table had a Ph.D or was a Doctorate student and they tend to be more impressed by intellect than inner wisdom.
The man who taught the class is an older Indian gentleman and he’s a very proud man. He has a PhD in psychology from Stanford and an MFA. You could tell he really respected education and intellect.
Yet there I was telling them “I’m here because my intuition took me to the cave of Mary Magdalene in France last November. I keep having dreams that I am supposed to write about what I received while I was there. I want to write it in fiction and have no experience with that. I feel like the universe brought me here for a reason. And oh yeah Dr. Singh (our teacher) happens to have a rose on his computer which is the sign of Mary Magdalene.“
Dr. Singh’s response “maybe, I’m Mary Magdalene in Drag?”
Something like that probably would have made me feel embarrassed or angry in the past. My mind may have thought he was being sarcastic or putting me down.
But because I’ve owned and am comfortable with this part of me, I actually could see the super-duper synchronicity and find humor in his comment.
He just happens to wear a hat just like my father used to. My father is whom I wanted to be seen on a soul level by the most.
When there are parts of you that are not celebrated and perhaps ignored or even put down by the ones you love the most, you put them into hiding so you don’t lose love.
No matter how awesome your caregiver’s are/were it’s very likely that their love was conditional.
When you act and behave how they wanted – you got love. When you behaved a way that was “unacceptable” you lost love.
So if you were a child that was expressive or emotional and it was not safe to show that – your passion is probably hidden.
If you were admonished for your sexual interests – your sensuality is probably curtailed.
So let me ask you: whom do you want to be seen and appreciated by the most?
And what parts have you been hiding and feel like want be expressed now?
Perhaps you know the answer to these questions and perhaps you don’t but you likely are feeling the symptoms that hiding creates:
Confusion about making a change
Explained or Unexplained Resentment towards loved ones
Feeling like you have to walk on eggshells with people who have strong personalities
Fear or guilt to ask for what you want
Limiting your joy or progress because you feel it will make someone feel bad about themselves
If you feel like there is a part of you that wants to be seen in all it’s glory but you don’t know what or how to bring these parts alive, you can find support and guidance from my book.
It's 21 inquiries and actions to help you become more intimate with yourself.
Click the link to order now and if you have the book and want more guidance, just hit reply and I'll be happy to hear where you are and if I can be on any support.
I can't think of a greater gift you can give the world than a fuller you!
Much Love, Freedom and Full Expression to you,