Is it Time to Break up with your Job?
In the beginning of my career as professor of pharmacy, I absolutely loved it. I was given so much opportunity, I grew a ton and I felt like I had a lot creative freedom.
I started several unique programs that served both my patients and students. It was incredibly fulfilling.
About 3 years into my decade long job, things started to change. My responsibilities began to shift and I felt like I was spending more time at meetings, filling out paperwork and trying to meet standards instead of teaching.
There were days, that I didn't even want to get out of my car. However, I was really comfortable with my situation. I had a lot of flexibility, vacation, good benefits and some awesome perks. My husband and I both got masters degrees for free. I know that sounds really great and very valid reasons to stay. However, these golden handcuffs definitely made me feel shackled. The moral was low and the things I was being asked to do were out of integrity with my values.
I was being undervalued and taken advantage of over and over again but because I was a good hardworking girl, I tolerated it. Growing up South Asian, prestige, money and loyalty are valued more than happiness and fulfillment. For years and years I complained but I never did anything about it.
Anytime I thought about leaving or exploring doing something else, I would come back to the same excuses. We need the money, benefits are good, what else would I do? I should be grateful for having such a good job. Plus I've invested so much time and money in my profession.
Every day, a bit of my soul was being crushed a little more. I know that may sound dramatic but sitting where I am sitting now, I can tell you that I was making a major sacrifice for comfort and safety. I see so many good people with amazing work ethic put themselves through the same torture.
Dissatisfaction at work begins like a benign tumor but eventually metastasizes into other areas of your life. You relationships suffer, you become angry and short-tempered with your kids, and your health takes a toll. If you don't have the courage to make a change, don't be surprised if it happens for you.
That's what happened to me. After giving birth to my premature son, I went back to work, already in a vulnerable state. I had applied for a promotion while I was pregnant and with all the pats on the back and awards I was getting for my hard work, I thought for sure I would get it.
I still remember that spring day in my Dean's office when he gave me the news, I didn't it. I couldn't hold back the tears I worked so hard for so many years, I didn't understand. If you put in your time, aren't you supposed to be taken care of?
I now look back at this day as one of the best days of my life. It was the kick in the pants that I needed to finally start to want more for myself. I hadn't realized how much I had settled in my career. The truth was that I didn't even want to be there. I wanted a different life. I wanted more time with my family, I wanted to travel and I wanted some passion in my life. I was living, but I wasn't alive. I spent years convincing myself that I was happy when I wasn't. It took this much suffering before I would dare ask myself "what do I really want?"
I finally got some real support because God knows I didn't have true mentorship. I worked with a career and life coach, who helped me design my career instead of settling for what I thought I could get. I designed a consulting job with a pharmacy that I was affiliated with the whole time I was a professor. I worked part time but made the same amount of money. I never even thought that could be an option.
It was a wonderful transition that gave me time to continue to work with my coach, and take classes outside of my profession like Medical Intuition. I also took a trip to India with my Family during Diwali, something I never was able to do before because it interfered with the semester.
Cultivating the courage to invest in myself gave me the time and support to explore my passions. I discovered that I had a dream of being a writer, but was so buried under responsibility, I didn't know. I also had some profound intuitive gifts that came alive when I finally paid attention to myself in a deeper way.
Today I am an Intuitive Life/Career Coach and author the book " I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for Now What? which includes my signature 4 part Make Your World Bigger System.
I often serve women who feel frustrated and are stuck in longterm careers or in transition. I support them to give permission to take the time to explore their true passions and build a life around prioritizing fulfillment.
If you have found yourself in any of these situations:
A job that gives you lots of opportunities but is out of integrity with your values
A job that you have been with for years that you used to love but the moral has lowered significantly, making you slightly or really miserable.
A job where you give a lot but you are feeling undervalued and not getting promoted, moved around, or laid off.
These are all signs that you are ready for a change. This may or may not lead to leaving your job. Sometimes an internal shift can make a big shift without changing anything externally.
I invite you to give yourself permission to have a no pressure chat with me on tangible, powerful ways you can get unstuck, cultivate courage to make a change and actually design your own career and life to be more of what you want. Sign up for a 30 minute possibilities call with me here