You Have Options
Updated: Feb 11
It's been a while since you have heard from me.
I've missed you guys and have been itching to write a "hello" and an update.
I took the month of August off for me and I've been starting September off Slow..on Purpose.
The reason why I took August off was that as an ambitious nurturer I like to feel accomplished and I am super committed to people, organizations and causes that I care about.
Often times, it's not natural or easy for me to put my needs first and "do nothing."
Can you relate?
I've been working on this for years but it still feels lazy & selfish to take space for me and prioritize relaxation.
However, at the beginning of the year, I set an intention to be in better alignment with time and space.
I often feel a sense of urgency and rush and like I am never getting enough done.
That's not the way I want to live.
I grew up with the teaching of hard work and it's taken a lot of conscious focus to rewire my brain to align with heart work instead.
What's the difference between hard work & heart work?
Hard work is about pushing and forcing and Heart work is about relaxing and allowing....and we need both however we tend to only focus on Hard work.
In April, I found myself asking for some spaciousness as a lot of things were going on....good things, but I didn't have time to take them in.
When we don't have spaciousness, we get overwhelmed.
It's really hard to process while you are going through major changes or have a lot responsibilities...in between jobs, summer break with the kids and no routine, moving, new relationships, starting a new creative project etc.
We focus so much on wanting to know what's next but space is vital. It allows us to choose and not say yes to something that we do not really want or is not for us.
Life is always changing and there are threshold points that we must choose to honor.
No one will give you permission....you have to claim it for yourself.
When we don't take pause to celebrate progress and prepare, we create pressure, instability and life becomes unfulfilling.
So in August when my hubby decided to take my son to Peru to visit my in-laws, I found myself at a choice point.
To go or not to go?
Relationships are super important to me and I love my in-laws but here's the thing, I am an emotional and energetically sensitive person.
My empathy is what serves me to do the work I do with my clients but, this super-power is not meant to be on all the time.
I've had to learn to respect myself which means honoring that I need a LOT of space.
The itinerary and living situation of the trip would not have met my needs. From past experience, I would have felt annoyed and resentful and taken it out on my hubby. I would have "ruined" his time with his parents because my needs were not taken care of.
How many of you feel torn between your needs and that of the ones you love and care about or doing the right thing?
Often times we DO love by choosing loyalty and obligation over trusting that there is enough love in our relationships for our needs too.....even with small children.
I believe instead of working so hard we need to do hard things and for people like you and me, that means taking up space and directly speaking our needs instead of isolating to get our needs met.
So for me, that meant saying no to going to Peru and having 2 glorious weeks to myself guilt free even when my son was turning 7 years old.
In fact not being initiated from our mothers is a main root cause for always feeling guilty to focus on our own needs, which I will share about in a future newsletter.
The main point I want to share with you is that:
You have options, pacing and being a creator in your life. You are not a victim to your circumstances.
Knowing yourself, honoring your needs and conscious communication are the mega tools that will give you both belonging and freedom.
The other mega-tool is being a co-creator.
There is a divine plan for your life and when you get quiet and still enough to listen, you will be surprised at just how much life wants to support you.
I recently supported a client to leave her job so she could explore her passions.
Like many of us the not knowing and all the uncertainty of the change caused a ton of anxiety.
Being ambitious and very self-sufficient she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure she would be financially secure.
The truth is that our real security comes from within not external factors.
I encouraged her to take space and do something nice for herself.
At first getting a manicure was hard but she even took it a step further and invested in a trip to be around people that felt nurturing to her...she was following her heart.
Shortly after, opportunities came through and suddenly she was in a place of choice. She also started to notice a pattern and synchronicity with what was showing up in her life.
To me this is a clue that you are tapped into the divine plan.
Signs & Synchronicity are not only fun but they are powerful tools to help you accomplish your goals and feel held during uncertain times.
I call them Goddess Winks.
I love teaching folks to co-create theirs lives and it's remarkable how much more control they have when they learn to co-create and communicate.
In addition to listening to your heart you can co-create by utilizing the energy of the earth and the cosmos to make aligned decisions, schedules, and to help prepare for various seasons in life.
Don't worry you don't need to learn all this stuff or change your religion (if you have one) it's all complimentary to your beliefs.
My gift is that I loooove studying being a Gemini and I am good at
translating the energy for you and I make it fun, non-intimidating and super practical to fit your life.
You can read the testimonials of many of my clients here and while you are at it, step into being the co-creator of your life and set up a clarity call with me.